Oh gross you guys realize Valentine's Day is just a commercial holiday it means nothing! Have you guys even heard of the st Valentine's Day Massacre, it's not a fun holiday! Oh Please with this yeah, you guys are just showing your love through hollow Capitalism how was no one else seeing this
Random Dude: Dude chill out It's obvious you're just cynical because you're completely alone Lonely Guy: Oh OH Well joke's on you, buddy cuz no one loves me every day Boom (you showed him!) *starts crying* (sniff) Every Valentine's Day ever Salesman: hmm Can I help you find something Ian: Um, I'm kind of in a weird situation you see I've only been dating this girl for like a week So it's not really that serious Salesman: mm-hmm Ian: Do you have anything that doesn't say I love you on it, cuz we're not we're not there Salesman: Oh of course
We have the perfect selection for that how about a A regular teddy bear Ian: Yeah, that's perfect There's no declarations of love Yeah, that's perfect Thanks Salesman :Go get her tiger Shoo Ian: Okay (nice house) Ian: Oh! Um, I know like we've only gone a couple dates But I figured you know it's tradition and everything so I got you a little Valentine's Day present Olivia: Oh Teddy: I love you Ian : Oh
Ian: didn't know that it talked awkward Teddy : And if you didn't love me too i'd kill myself *Ian coughs* and then kill you (uhh yandere much?) *akward chuckle* Every Valentines Day Ever Courtney: Babe?? Where are you? Noah: follow the trail! Courtney: What's all this?! Noah: Well, you know I thought I'd pick up a couple roses pick apart They're decaying carcasses and spread them around the house in hopes that you would sleep with me
Courtney: Huh well I don't know why I'm interpreting these actions as a romantic gesture instead of something a complete psychopath would do but I gotta admit I'm pretty horny right now Noah: Cool COVER YOUR EYES CHILDREN Noah: I love that your head is spaghetti and I get to eat it (um okay then) Ian: Happy Valentine's Day Shayne: It's August Happy Ian: oh huh ho Manny: Yo, why are there flowers on the table Danny: Oh, dad bought them for mom Manny: Wait a minute Danny what day is it? Danny: I don't know know, Manny
Some random weekday in February Danny: Oh my god Danny&Manny: IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY! Manny: We got to get out of here Mom: Hey no leaving the house past sundown Danny: She's talking to us!, while she's doing it Why couldn't they just wait till we were asleep Random Guy: Who bought me flowers Shane: I did for myself Teddy: The way I would kill myself is with a knife And the way i'd kill you is with the same knife Ian: Okay, maybe if you just press them again, it'll say something not so crazy Teddy: The blood from my body would then mix with the blood from your body, which would bind our souls for eternity
Ian: Son of a bitch Shane: Let's touch butts! Ian: YEAH!! *Laughing* Courtney: Tonight was SO perfect Shayne: Delicious and expensive thick hearty steak Courtney: More than enough red wine Shane: And then a whole box of those heart-shaped chocolates filled with I don't even know Courtney: And now we can engage an entire night of rigorous and passionate lovemaking Shayne: mm-hmm C: You still want to S: uh-huh C: right? S: Yeah? C: Yeah, okay? S: Cool you C: oh, yeah? I'm so excited Shane: You're not too full Courtney: NO, I feel fine Shane: I'm just gonna turn off this light and we're gonna *thump* *Shane falls asleep* *courtney ALSO falls asleep* Happy Valentine's Day yeah, we're good singers Courtney: Happy Valentine's Day *animu gasp* goodbye Oh, must be from my husband Michael – Julie Oh oh, to julie OH! from my husband Michael probably *exhale* oh! Sarahokay This is definitely from my husband Michael uh-huh Oh see from Michael – toJulie hang on
There's something else from Michael Divorce papers Shane: you've been served happy Valentine's Day Be mine get it cuz I'm just like a bee Teddy: If i found out you didn't love me And I didn't have a knife nearby I'd kill myself with two guns Ian: okay, maybe just stop pressing it I'd put both of them to my head and pull the triggers at the same time The bullets would hit Each other and fuse together in my brain just like you and me should fuse together forever Ian: Okay, Jesus I can return it okay? Teddy: I love you, Rachel Do you love me say you love me say you love me say you love me I'll kill myself and you if you don't love me say you love me
I Fuck*** love you *EATS IAN'S FACE* Every Valentine's Day Ever Happy Valentine's Day Shane Oh happy Valentine's Day Ian wow You know it'd just be super if everyone went checked out every first date ever by clicking the box on the left or to watch Every elevator ever by clicking the Box on the right wow that just sounds amazing We're gonna make out with somebody
I'm right here Oh Oh my gosh Oh my goodness SubTitles: By DJSlime07 and reviewed and checked and made better by glitchytheglitch and again by bre prall Wow
