Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter

Julie: HELLO! – HEY HEY HEY! – HELLO! – WELCOME! – SAY, "NANNY!" – HI – THANK YOU

OH MY GOSH, SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD THIS LOOKS WONDERFUL! – IT'S THE BEGINNING OF THE SUMMER – BOYS VERSUS GIRLS! – WHAT? NO

– THAT'S NOT FAIR GRAYSON'S A SCRUB Julie: AND CHLOE'S HERE FULL-TIME NOW, SO I'VE GOT TWO TEENAGERS, AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD AND A BABY NOW, – SO IT'S CRAZY AS EVER – WHICH IS NOTHING SHOCKING – NO, THIS ONE'S ON

– Chase: NANNY, WHERE'S THE GRILL? – I GOTTA GO COOK THE BURGERS – WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT, COOKING BURGERS? – 'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA HAVE BURGERS, TOO – WHO THE HELL HAS BURGERS – WITH ALL OF THIS STUFF THAT YOUR NANNY HAS COOKED? – ME Julie: CHASE IS TURNING 18, AND HE'S WALKING AROUND HERE – AS IF HE'S THE QUEEN BEE – "I'M 18

I'M A MAN I'VE GOT THIS GOING ON I DON'T NEED A BOSS" HOW THE HECK DO YOU TURN THIS THING ON? OH –! – OW! – THE SUN DON'T SHINE ON THE SAME DOG'S ASS ALWAYS – SAVANNAH, COME HERE

– WHAT? – DUDE, ARE MY EYEBROWS STILL THERE? – DID YOU JUST ASK ME– ( whispers ) SHUT UP BECAUSE WHEN I LIT IT, – IT BLEW UP IN MY FACE – Savannah: IT'S BEEN ABOUT 10 MINUTES – YOU BETTER CHECK THOSE HAMBURGERS – THEY'RE FINE, I'M TELLING YOU

GIVE HIM A LITTLE CREDIT HE'S NOT DUMB – MAMA – WELL? YOU DON'T LIVE WITH HIM 24 HOURS A DAY – JEEZ! – THEY'RE FINE THEY'RE JUST A LITTLE CRISPY – OH, JUST A LITTLE – ( Chloe speaks ) – CHLOE, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING DOWN THERE? – ( Chloe speaks ) – THEY'RE CHARCOAL NOW – SHH! DON'T SAY ANYTHING

HEY, YOU WANT A HAMBURGER? HERE YOU GO – ( laughs ) – MY GOD, HE BURNT THEM CRISP – Chase: THE TOPS ARE NOT BAD, THOUGH – I DON'T WANT NONE OF IT YOU EXPECT ME TO EAT THIS? Julie: DON'T EAT IT, GRAYSON GRAYSON, DON'T EAT IT, BEFORE YOU BITE OFF SOMETHING YOU CAN'T CHEW, LITERALLY

YOU HEAR THIS? THEY'RE JUST CRUNCHY – Faye: THAT'S CHARCOAL – Todd: ALL WE WANTED WAS A NICE DINNER AND WE JUST DON'T– THAT'S JUST NOT IN THE CARDS FOR US AMEN

– ( screams ) – ( laughter ) Todd: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Julie: Y'ALL DON'T BE MESSING IN MY DESSERTS! – HERE, CHASE – Faye: OH GOD – Faye: TODD, YOU JUST MADE A MESS – Julie: HA HA PAYBACK'S A BIT– – GRAYS! – WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HER? – COCO! – OH! GOSH

– ( screams, laughter ) – Julie: Y'ALL GET AWAY FROM ME! OH MY GOODNESS DON'T BE MESSING UP MY HOUSE MY GOODNESS – ( screams, laughter ) MAMA, I DON'T BLAME YOU I WOULDN'T HAVE THIS BUNCH OF DAMN HELLIONS IN MY HOUSE AGAIN EITHER

( theme music playing ) Julie: I THINK I'M GOOD WITH JUST THE BUSINESS CARDS RIGHT NOW, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA START WITH A THOUSAND ( man speaks on phone ) JULIE J-U-L-I-E THANK YOU SO MUCH ALL RIGHT, BYE-BYE

– JODIE OR JULIE? – IF THERE'S FRICKING JODIE ON THAT BUSINESS CARD, I'M GONNA FRITZ SO I'VE GOT BUSINESS CARDS PRETTY MUCH DECIDED UPON, AND THEN– WHAT IS IT? I AIN'T SO SURE THIS WORKING THING'S GONNA WORK OUT FOR US OH NO, THIS IS GONNA WORK OUT FOR US I'VE DONE IT BEFORE AND I'M DOING IT AGAIN SO I'M EXCITED TO GET BACK INTO THE REAL ESTATE ARENA

I MISS THAT I MISS THE INTERACTION WITH OTHER PEOPLE MY KIDS ARE GETTING OLDER AND I JUST WANNA GET OUT – OF THE HOUSE A LITTLE BIT – SHE'S RUNNING AWAY – EXACTLY

– BUT THERE'S NO WAY I CAN GET ALL THIS STUFF DONE – AND WORK I JUST CAN'T DO IT ALL – OKAY, SO WHAT– I NEED YOU TO HELP ME GET DINNER STARTED I'M GONNA WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN YOU'RE GONNA KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M SPEAKING IN GREEK? WELL, I'LL HELP YOU OUT AS FAR AS PICKING UP THE KIDS, – BUT I AIN'T COOKING – ONCE YOU START, TODD, YOU'LL FIND THAT IT'S VERY THERAPEUTIC AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY GONNA LIKE IT THERE'S NO THERAPY IF I WANT TO BE THERAPEUTIC, – I CAN DO THAT ON THE BEACH – ( laughs ) OH YEAH

IT WON'T BE IN THE KITCHEN WITH A SAUCE PAN EVERYONE KNOWS I HATE CHANGE BUT BECAUSE I AM SUCH A WONDERFUL HUSBAND, I HAVE DECIDED TO ASSIST YOU WHEN SHE'S GOING OUT TO CONQUER THE REAL ESTATE WORLD I'M PREPARING DINNER – YOU KNOW– – I KNOW IT'S SUMMER, I KNOW THE KIDS ARE HERE, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'VE DONE IT BEFORE WITH FOUR KIDS

THAT DON'T MEAN WE WANNA DO IT AGAIN – ( phone rings – WHAT'S UP, HOMEBOY?) – How you doing, homegirl? – SPENCER IS A GUY THAT I AM INTERESTED IN HE WAS ON "AMERICAN IDOL" HE DIRECT-MESSAGED ME ON TWITTER I WAS REALLY HOPING SHE WAS GONNA GET CATFISHED

– SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING? – I've just been working on new songs and everything You know, love songs and stuff like that SHE'S BEEN FACETIMING HE'S BEEN SITTING THERE PLAYING HIS GUITAR

BUT ANY GIRL FINDS A GUY ATTRACTIVE IF YOU CAN SING OR PLAY AN INSTRUMENT IF I COULD SING, I WOULD WALK AROUND SINGING – I WOULD HAVE CONVERSATIONS SINGING – I'm working out a trip to come down to Atlanta and maybe I could take you on a date or something YEAH, OF COURSE

YOU'VE GOT TO GET TODD'S APPROVAL FIRST, THOUGH WHEN IT COMES TO DATING, MY DAD STILL THINKS I'M THIS LITTLE GIRL HE THINKS I'M LIKE CHLOE, BUT I'M ALMOST 17 AND THAT'S JUST NOT GONNA WORK He doesn't let you go on dates – like ever? – NO

– Okay – JUST BE PREPARED FOR HIM TO SAY NO HOPE FOR THE BEST, ER– EXPECT THE WORST, HOPE FOR THE BEST? – Expect the worst, hope for the best? – EXACTLY – All right, I'll see you then – ALL RIGHT, BYE

HEY HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU FACETIMING? – NO – I FIGURED YOU'D BE TALKING TO YOUR BOY TOY – ( chuckles ) – SPENCER, SPENCER, SPENCER WHAT DO YOU THINK DADDY'S GONNA DO? DO YOU THINK HE'S GONNA LET ME GO OUT ON A DATE WITH SPENCER? – NAH – WHY? – 'CAUSE HE'S DADDY

– ( chuckles ) – YOU HAVE A POINT THERE – HOW OLD IS HE? – 19? – YEAH – YEAH, THAT'S A LITTLE– – OH REALLY? – IT'S DIFFERENT WITH ME – NO, IT'S NOT! TECHNICALLY, AT 18, IF I WANTED TO, I COULD DATE A 45-YEAR-OLD – EWW, YOU ARE DISGUSTING

– JENNIFER ANISTON, SHE'S 47 – AND I WOULD WIFE HER – OH REALLY? – I'D PUT A RING ON THAT – ( laughs ) ( knocks ) ADIOS – OH GOD

"ADIOS" IS "GOODBYE" – HOLA – SO THAT'S BYE WHAT DO YOU NEED? – CAN Y'ALL BOTH SIT DOWN, PLEASE? – WHAT IS IT? – I JUST NEED YOU TO SIT DOWN NEXT TO MAMA – I DON'T NEED TO SIT DOWN

– YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS – DADDY, SIT DOWN! SO, SPENCER'S COMING INTO TOWN, WOULD YOU MIND IF I WENT TO DINNER WITH SPENCER? – ( dramatic music playing ) – Julie: WHEN IS THIS GONNA TAKE PLACE? – UH, THIS WEEKEND? – JUST THE TWO OF YOU? IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS WE JUST WANNA GO TO DINNER Todd: FOR 16 YEARS, I HAVE DREADED THIS MOMENT OH, GIVE IT UP

YOU KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT ME GIVING IT UP – NO – DADDY, WHY? BECAUSE HE'S 19 AND YOU'RE 16 – OKAY, THAT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DIFFERENCE

IT'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE FROM A MAN TO A YOUNG LADY SPENCER'S A LITTLE BIT OLDER – THAN MY DAD WOULD PREFER – IT'S ILLEGAL – NO, IT'S NOT! – YEAH, IT IS NO, IT'S NOT! 16's CONSENSUAL AGE IN SOME STATES

– CONSENSUAL FOR WHAT? – HE'S A GOOD KID, – HE'S NEVER– HE'S NOT– – THE GOOD KIDS WANNA HAVE SEX DATING IS OVERRATED SAVANNAH IS A SMART, BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADY – SHE NEEDS TO WAIT, TAKE A BREATHER – WAIT TILL WHEN? SHE'S DRAWING SOCIAL SECURITY? ANY GOOD, YOUNG MAN AT 19 YEARS OLD, IS LOOKING TO HAVE A GOOD, FUN TIME

AND THAT AIN'T GONNA BE WITH YOU I'M YOUR DADDY IT'S INAPPROPRIATE TO ME – HI! – HOW ARE YOU? ARE YOU JULIE? – I'M JULIE – GOOD TO MEET YOU

– COME ON IN – HELLO, FRIEND, HOW ARE YOU? – HI GOOD HOW ARE YOU? – GOOD GOOD TO SEE YOU

SO I'M MEETING TODAY WITH BILL, A FELLOW BROKER IN REAL ESTATE WHO TRULY KNOWS THE MARKET, SO HE'S GONNA KIND OF GIVE ME A REFRESHER COURSE BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT OF IT FOR A LITTLE BIT, THE WHOLE REAL ESTATE MARKET YOU DON'T LOOK AT PROPERTIES -AS MUCH AS I WOULD HAVE BEFORE – RIGHT, RIGHT IT'S JUST AMAZING TO ME AT HOW IT BUILDS THE MARKET IS BACK, SO NOW'S THE GOOD TIME TO GET BACK THAT IS WONDERFUL THAT IS SO GOOD TO HEAR

SO NOW THAT I'M GOING BACK TO WORK, TODD HAS SEMI-AGREED TO HELP OUT A LITTLE BIT WHAT DOES "SEMI-AGREED" FROM TODD MEAN? – HE'S GONNA HELP IN THE HOUSE – MM-HMM

AND WITH THE KIDS A LITTLE BIT IT SAYS, "LAYER NOODLES

" – WHERE'S THE NOODLES – I DON'T– I DON'T KNOW – WE'RE DOMESTICATED NOW – WE'RE DOMESTICATED ALL RIGHT I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THIS IS RIGHT, 'CAUSE IT LOOKS NASTY I MEAN, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD LEAVE ME TO MAKE LASAGNA? I MEAN, I CAN POP A CAN OF PRINGLES AND A COKE AND I'D BE GOOD

THAT'S JUST GONNA BE SO CHEESY, LIKE UGH! – YOU'RE GONNA EAT IT – WELL, YOU HAVE MY MORAL SUPPORT – I'M HERE WITH YOU – I DON'T NEED YOU TO BE HERE WITH ME – I NEED YOU TO HELP – DADDY, I DON'T KNOW – WHAT I'M DOING

– START PUTTING THE SALAD TOGETHER DO WE HAVE ANY BOWLS? – OH, THERE'S ONE – OH, SHUT UP WAS I SUPPOSED TO PUT THE CHEESE ON THIS OTHER CHEESE BEFORE I PUT THE SAUCE? ALL RIGHTY, DADDY, I MADE THE SALAD YEAH, YOU DUMPED IT OUT IN A BOWL

DID YOU WASH IT? – WASH WHAT? – YOU HAVE TO WASH THAT – THERE YOU GO – Savannah: HOW'S IT GOING? Todd: SAVANNAH, I'M DOING THE BEST I KNOW HOW TO DO, AND THAT'S GONNA BE AS GOOD AS IT GETS THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE NO, I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT AIN'T THE DUMBEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE

DADDY, YOU PULL THE TAB OPEN – ARE YOU A LITTLE SLOW? – IDIOT – ( mocking gasp ) – OH DADDY, DID YOU NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN? NO – HOW PRETTY IS THAT? – IT'S LIKE, "LOOK AT THE VIEW

" TO KNOW THAT THERE'S STILL SOME GOOD LISTINGS OUT HERE IT IS PRIME, PRIME SEASON OUT HERE ON THE WATERS I KNOW I KNOW I'M READY TO SELL ME SOME LAKE PROPERTY – I AM READY TO GET GOING – EXCELLENT

( phone ringing ) – Todd: Hello – HEY, HOW'S IT GOING? – Good How about you? – OH, GOING GOOD GOING GOOD I was just checking in with you to make sure everything was okay

WERE YOU ABLE TO GET DINNER? 'CAUSE I AM STARVED Todd: I DID LASAGNA, SO WE'RE GOOD Now that should've been going for a few hours now, right? – YEAH – OKAY, ALL RIGHT THEN I'LL BE THERE SHORTLY

I CAN'T WAIT – BYE – Okay, bye I DON'T THINK THAT WE PUT ENOUGH NOODLES IN THAT Chase: DID YOU ONLY PUT ONE PACKET OF NOODLES INTO THE WHOLE THING? – YEAH

– OH YEAH, THAT'S WRONG – HELLO! OH! – Todd: ABOUT TIME OH, YOU'VE GOT A BIG SURPRISE FOR YOU LET ME SEE IT OH MY GOSH! – LOOKS PRETTY GOOD

– Chase: IT'S LASAGNA SOUP I AM SO PROUD OF HIM EVEN IF IT'S NOT EVEN EDIBLE, – HE GETS AN "A" FOR EFFORT – IT'S GOING TO BE DELICIOUS I PROMISE YOU

( crunching ) ( chuckles ) I THINK IT'S DELICIOUS I THINK IT'S REALLY GOOD WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO COOK IT – I'M NOT GOING TO – BE CAREFUL BE CAREFUL IT MIGHT BE THE LA– – IT MIGHT BE THE LA– – KICK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH, SO I'M GONNA SAY IT WAS DELICIOUS SAVANNAH CAME TO ME TODAY AND WANTED TO KNOW IF SHE COULD GO ON A DATE – REALLY? – DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA? I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DO A LITTLE SOMETHING – WITH A 19-YEAR-OLD? – PAPA WAS 10 YEARS OLDER THAN I THAT WAS SOME HILLBILLY — THEN, – BECAUSE THAT AIN'T HAPPENING UP IN TODD'S HOUSE

– ( laughs ) – LET'S TAKE A VOTE – YEAH, TAKE A VOTE WHO THINKS I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO OUT ON A DATE? HUH! THAT'S ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, – FIVE AGAINST ONE – SHE– HEY– WHO DOESN'T THINK I SHOULD GO OUT ON A DATE? – GET YOUR HAND UP – I'M REMAINING NEUTRAL

– SHE'S NEUTRAL, SO– – YOU'RE NOT SWITZERLAND, DARLING WHY DON'T CHASE DOUBLE DATE? HE'LL SPLIT APART FROM HIS SISTER TO GO DO WHAT HIS SKETCHY ASS WANTS TO DO NOW IF MAMA WANTS TO GO, IF YOU TAKE YOUR NANNY, THEN YOU CAN GO ON A DATE I WOULD ENJOY IT SO MUCH IT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GOING, IS IF SHE GOES

Grayson: EMBARRASSING I LOVE HER TO DEATH, BUT WHO TAKES THEIR 70-YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER – ON A DATE WITH THEM? – IT'S JUST LIKE HAVING A BODYGUARD VIEW HER AS KEVIN COSTNER DADDY, YOU'RE SO UNREALISTIC! THAT IS WHAT WE CALL A COMPROMISE NO, THAT'S– HOW IS THAT A COMPROMISE? 'CAUSE BEFORE YOU WASN'T EVEN GOING AT ALL

OKAY, SO NANNY OR NO? OR AS THEY SAY, NANNY OR NAH? – WHAT ARE YOU DOING? – GETTING READY – ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A TROPHY WIFE? – EXCUSE YOU? I SAID, "ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A TROPHY WIFE?" THE MOMENT SOMEBODY CALLS ME A TROPHY WIFE – IS THE MOMENT– – THAT'S A COMPLIMENT WHO WANTS TO BE A TROPHY WIFE? – YEAH, I KNOW YOU DO – I'LL BE A TROPHY HUSBAND SO I WAS HOPING TO GO ON A DATE WITH SPENCER BY MYSELF, BUT I GUESS GRANNY'S GOING ALONG AFTER ALL

THAT'S JUST AWESOME DO NOT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF OF SAVANNAH – I PROMISE – NO DRINKING TONIGHT – SHE'S NOT DRINKING AT ALL

– I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU I'M GONNA HAVE ONE PINA COLADA MAMA, YOU SHOULDN'T BE DRINKING, PERIOD – I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU – I CAN HANDLE IT

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO GIVE RULES TO MY 70-YEAR-OLD MOTHER THAT IS CHAPERONING SAVANNAH THIS WOMAN NEVER DRANK, AND NOW SHE'S GONNA HAVE A PINA COLADA? – I MEAN, I DON'T– – NO, SHE'S DOING A RED WINE, – 'CAUSE THAT'S GOOD FOR YOUR HEART

– 'CAUSE DR OZ SAID – YEAH – OKAY – ( classical score plays ) – Faye: YOU'RE GORGEOUS

Savannah: IS THERE A REASON THIS IS A SOCIAL EVENT AROUND HERE? WE'RE EXCITED ABOUT YOUR FIRST DATE – I'M GOOD ON MY OWN – YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA BE ON YOUR OWN AS LONG AS I'VE GOT A PULSE SO I'M GONNA BE AT WORK WHEN SAVANNAH GOES ON HER DATE I HOPE THAT TODD IS ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOR AND DOESN'T SCARE THIS POOR BOY TO DEATH

I HAVE ONE BEHAVIOR I STAY ON IT CONSISTENTLY THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF ( doorbell rings ) I REALLY DIDN'T WARN SPENCER ABOUT ANYTHING Chase: SAVANNAH DIDN'T LET HIM KNOW WHAT HE WAS WALKING INTO

HE WAS WALKING INTO THE WAR ZONE, TO BE HONEST IT WAS LIKE THE LIONS WERE THERE AND THE VULTURES WERE CIRCLING, WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN – SAVANNAH? – YES, DADDY? – YOUR BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BOY'S HERE – ( laughs ) – HOW ARE YOU? – I'M GOOD HOW ARE YOU? – GOOD

– YOU LOOK AMAZING – THANK YOU – Todd: Y'ALL COME ON IN LET'S CHAT FOR A LITTLE BIT HAVE A SEAT BESIDE SAVANNAH

THAT'S WHERE SHE'D LIKE FOR YOU TO SIT THAT'S ABOUT THE DISTANCE THAT Y'ALL NEED TO MAINTAIN – IS THAT BETTER? – THAT'S EVEN BETTER SO, SPENCER, DON'T PLAN ON DOING ANYTHING WITH MY DAUGHTER THAT YOU WOULDN'T DO WITH ME – ( inhales deeply ) – I'M TALKING TO YOU, SPENCER

RIGHT HERE – THERE WILL BE NOTHING HAPPENING – ( laughter )

THAT WOULD NOT HAPPEN RIGHT HERE IN THE LIVING ROOM SO, NANNY IS GONNA BE RIDING SHOTGUN TO KEEP ME FROM HAVING TO USE A SHOTGUN – YES

( chuckles ) – Todd: SO, SAVANNAH, DO NOT BE KISSING ON HIM I BETTER NOT CATCH YOU DOING NOTHING, OR I'LL CUT IT OFF AND PUT IT IN HIS POCKET – NO – Todd: THAT'S RIGHT – ALL RIGHT, LOVE YOU

– Grayson: HAVE FUN, ROMEO AND JULIET – OH MY GOSH – THERE'S GONNA BE PLENTY OF KISSING ON THIS DATE WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP? THERE'S NOT GONNA BE ANY KISSING GOING ON Grayson: YES, THERE IS

EVERYBODY BUCKLED UP AND READY TO ROCK? – YES, NANNY, WE ARE – YES MA'AM YES MA'AM – HOW ARE YOU? – I'M DOING WONDERFUL Savannah: I MEAN, WHEN YOU'RE IN THE CAR WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER, THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH THAT YOU CAN TALK ABOUT

SO IT'S SORT OF AWKWARD I'M GONNA HAVE FUN WITH MY GRANDCHILDREN JUST BECAUSE I'M NANNY AND I'M OLD, DON'T MEAN THAT I CAN'T PARTY LORD, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO THINK THANK YOU

HI, HOW ARE YOU? – SO WE HAVE THREE – I'M GONNA SIT AT THE BAR – OH, SHE WANTS TO SIT AT THE BAR – I'M GONNA SIT AT THE BAR – OKAY, WELL, ENJOY YOURSELF

– THAT WORKS, TOO – THANK YOU SO MUCH – YOU'RE WELCOME – I'LL HAVE SOMEBODY BE WITH YOU GUYS SOON – THANK YOU

( laughs ) ( Faye speaks ) ( woman speaks ) – ( Faye speaks ) – ( woman speaks ) I'M ACTUALLY REALLY SURPRISED THAT YOU'RE HERE AND NOT ONLINE I FELT THAT IT WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH, – THAT YOU'RE IMPORTANT – IT WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH ( laughs ) YOU'RE TRYING NOT TO SOUND TOO MUCH LIKE A GIRL RIGHT NOW, AREN'T YOU? – WHAT? ( scoffs ) – WHAT? – ( laughs ) WHAT'S SHE DOING OVER THERE? – SHE'S LURKING – LOOKS PRETTY, ANYWAYS

– IT IS – ( chuckles ) – ( gasps ) SHE ACTUALLY GOT SOMETHING TO DRINK! – YEAH, THAT'S GOOD – Woman: THAT'S GOOD ISN'T IT? – MM-HMM YUP

– ( kids laugh ) – I'M NOT– SO, MY DAD WASN'T TOO HARD ON YOU HE WASN'T TOO HARD IT WAS PRETTY GOOD I THINK IT WENT PRETTY WELL ACTUALLY, I THINK THE HARDEST PART IS– THAT'S GOING TO BE– – GETTING HER OUT OF HERE– – SHE'S TALKING TO SOMEBODY

– SHE'S TALKING TO THE BARTENDER – NO, SHE'S TALKING TO A GUY – HOW ARE YOU? – FINE, THANK YOU – GOOD – ( gasps ) MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S ON HER FIRST DATE, AND I'M CHAPERONING

– ( mumbles ) – ( laughs ) EVERYONE'S GOING ON A DATE TONIGHT – SHE BETTER NOT BE – I HAVE A GOOD VIEW RIGHT HERE SO SWEET! – OH, YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THAT – ( laughter ) WHAT YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT? – I'M TRYING MY HARDEST– – ANYTHING BESIDES THAT

ANYTHING BESIDES THAT I'M TRYING TO KEEP MY FOCUS ON YOU, BUT IT'S KINDA HARD WHEN I'VE GOT THAT BEHIND ME THEY'RE A LITTLE TOO CLOSE FOR MY COMFORT, TO BE HONEST – THEY'RE CLOSER THAN WE ARE – EXACTLY

I MIGHT TAKE A PICTURE DON'T DON'T OH MY GOODNESS THERE IT IS

THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A TEXT TO MY DADDY SHE'S ALL GROWN UP NOW, SAVANNAH – OH REALLY? – WE HAVE TO LET HER FLY ( laughing ) NO SHE'S ABOUT TO GET HER WINGS BROKEN

SHE'S NOT A CHILD ANYMORE ( phone ringing ) ( cellphone chimes ) – HELLO? – MAMA – What? – WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M HAVING SOME COKE AND WATCHING MY CHILDREN NO, YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE SITTING AT THE BAR WITH SOME FAT GUY! – ( laughing ) – NO EVERYTHING IS OKAY

I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO, AND THAT'S TO MONITOR WHAT MY CHILD'S DOING You don't think I'd let my granddaughter do something that I wouldn't do, do you? MAMA, THAT'S MY CONCERN AT THIS PRESENT MOMENT I'M NOT BRINGING NOBODY HOME WITH ME, OKAY? So don't worry about me I'll talk to you later

Bye ( chuckles ) – Spencer: GREATLY APPRECIATE IT ( Savannah laughs ) Todd: I WAS SO GRATEFUL TO KNOW THAT SAVANNAH'S HOME THAT SHE'S SAFE, SPENCER'S LEAVING, SHE'S LOCKED IN I CAN GO TO BED NOW SO, WILL THERE BE A SECOND ONE? TEXT ME AND WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT

– SOUNDS GOOD BYE – ALL RIGHT BYE Julie: SO HOW WAS YOUR DATE? IT WAS GOOD

THANK YOU, DADDY, FOR LETTING ME GO, EVEN THOUGH MY GRANDMOTHER WAS A CHAPERONE BUT DON'T YOU THINK THAT THAT MADE IT EASIER, – 'CAUSE IT WASN'T AS AWKWARD? – I'M NOT GONNA LIE – IT KIND OF DID – MM-HMM BUT NEXT TIME I WOULD LOVE TO GO BY MYSELF

OH, THERE AIN'T NO SENSE IN TALKING ABOUT A NEXT TIME BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, DADDY? YOU'VE GOTTA LET GO – NO – DADDY, – I'M ALMOST 17 – I'M ALMOST 47

OH DANG, YOU'RE OLD SAVANNAH, GET YOUR SKETCHY ASS OUT OF OUR ROOM ( laughs ) ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL, I LOVE YOU – GOOD NIGHT, LOVE YOU – GOOD NIGHT, I LOVE YOU

THERE'S TOO MUCH CHANGE GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW YOU DONE BLOWN YOUR HAIR OUT STRAIGHT, CHANGED YOUR MAKEUP, DECIDED TO GO BACK TO WORK THINK I'M GONNA COOK MAMA OUT HERE, THINKING SHE'S GONNA BUST A HUSTLE HM-MMM

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START WITH ALL THE CHANGES THAT WE HAVE GOING ON, BUT WE WILL GO THROUGH THIS TOGETHER AS A FAMILY AS WE'VE ALWAYS DONE, 'CAUSE THAT'S THE CHRISLEY WAY THAT'S THE CRAY-CRAY WAY OKAY, I GOTTA GET– I GOTTA GET MYSELF SITUATED SO MY HAIR DOESN'T MESS UP AND YOU GET OVER THERE AND TURN THE AIR DOWN A LITTLE BIT, – THEN WE'LL BE GOOD – ACTUALLY, I CAN'T

I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW: I AM FREEZING TO DEATH ALREADY I MEAN, YOU TRY TO KEEP IT LIKE A MEAT LOCKER IN HERE AND YOU AIN'T HAPPY UNLESS THERE'S SWEAT DRIPPING BETWEEN MY BOOBS – RETWEET – ( both laugh ) Julie: OH GOD

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